Mo' Money, Less Problems

Forget what Diddy said ladies. Sometimes, by spending more money up front for beauty products, you save yourself time, anguish, and most importantly, cash.

For example, you buy Brand X foundation at La Drugstore. After you actually wear Brand X in public, you realize it sucks in a triple X kinda way. It's the Jenna Jameson of foundations, and you've spent $12.00 bucks on it. La Drugstore's return policy on cosmetics varies from store to store. You live in an urban area, so you are totally SOL. NO RETURNS. Balls.

You instead have to purchase another foundation, and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out for you, the cycle continues. I've lived this folks. Let me tell you something--it's not worth it. I've had my come to Grilled Cheesus moment. I  saved money and bought a few real, returnable, high-end products.

I look f$%ing fabulous.

I also returned 2 foundations and a powder before I was satisfied. Here are some tips I am passing down to you before you enter the scary customer service driven worlds of Sephora and Ulta.

1. Research products online and read reviews.


Duh. There are people like me tripping over themselves to make sure you don't buy a shitty product. Let us help you chicas. Google it. Read about it. Be informed about what you smear on your face.


2. Look good when you go shopping.


Seriously, I don't want no scrubs shoppin' at Sephora wit' me. Look good. You will feel confident, and the sales people are less likely to hone in on you like cheetahs on an injured antelope. Strut bitches, strut.


3. When they ask if you want help, tell them no, even if you need it. 


But Amanda, you ask, isn't this counterintuitive? Yes and no. If you tell them that you are browsing when you walk in, you don't have to worry about them stalking you and pressuring you to buy something. In my case "help'"consisted of two very orange foundations and an illuminating powder that lit me up like a Studio 54 Disco Ball (I did, however, get directed to the bestest mascara in the world). Under the prison lights of their stores, anything looks good. Daylight is the real test. If you need advice ask for it, but browse on your own first. Smear the back of your hand, your collar bone, and your cheek with a million sundry products. Go crazy. Narrow it down to three or four items like items. Then ask a sales person for help if you are still lost.

When I browsed and picked out products on my own, I hit home runs. I know how pale and greasy I am, and how large my pores are. These beatches have no idea about my struggles. Know thyself, and buy products that work for you.

4. Don't be afraid to return things.


If you hate it, return it. Life goes on. Pick something else instead. Don't let the stank eyed gaze of the salesperson scare you. RETURN IT.

5. Don't be scared to try something different.


Get sucked in by cute packaging. Pay too much for something you don't feel like you can live with out. If it sucks, you can always make like number 4 and RETURN IT. It could be the best purchase you ever made.

I'll be posting reviews on my high end haul shortly. Don't think I've abandoned my dollar store roots Internet. I will forever prowl the aisles of CVS looking for eyeshadow quads and lipglosses while slightly buzzed off of vodka and sugar free Redbulls. Old habits die hard.

Red Breaks My Heart

My red hair washed out after 4 days. I only washed it twice. I'm a natural looking medium reddish brown now. I LOVED the red day one. It was awesome, and I'm, sad that it happened.

I did, however, learn a valuable lesson: IF YOU WANT TO BE RED GET YOUR HAIR COLORED BY A PROFESSIONAL. That was very capslock Harry Potter a la book five, but it's the truth. Don't play.

Fab or Fail: I'm a Ginger Now

Ok peeps, time to weigh in on my newest rash decision--red hair. I've had the bug for quite some time but being blond is safe, generally flattering, etc. Whattya think?

Revlon Foundation Round-Up: Fantastic or Fail?

Hola Chicas,

CVS had a bogo sale on some Revlon foundations and I could not resist the temptation to purchase the 2 that had been twinkling in my eye for some time now: SPA Age Defying Foundation and Colorstay Mineral Mousse Makeup.

 

SPA Age Defying Foundation in FAIL. 

I

Colorstay Mineral Mousse Foundation in INFINITE SADNESS.

I wish I had better news for you girlfriends, but the facts are in. DO NOT BUY. Revlon has such amazing products (Colorstay with Soft Flex, Just Bitten Lipstains, Colorstay LipSheers...) that I was floored at how crazy bad these were. Someone was drinking too many Mike's Harder Lemonades when they were cookin' up these formulas.

SPA Age Defying Foundation

Pros:
-Dewy finish
-Lot's of product

Cons:
-WTF is with the unsanitary, needless-streak-causing-funky-brush applicator? You have to use tools to pull this thing off. I'm She Hulk and I can't rip it off. SHENANIGANS!
-This is not true to color. It's actually far lighter than the tube and that's saying something coming from this snowflake.
-It's not really any kind of coverage. I've used tinted moisturizers with more bang.

This might be good mixed into something too heavy for you, or as a color corrector for something too dark. On it's own. Meh.

Colorstay Mineral Mousse Foundation

Pros:
-It was a nice try

Cons:
-Wack coverage, can get clumpy, settle into fine lines and pores
-Not true to color
 -Color doesn't stay

If you are like me, the glowing picture of Halle B. sucked you into to this purchase. It was a sad mistake, as I will never be a beautiful Oscar-winning screen actress famous for humping Billy Bob like she really meant it and being absurdly hot. Smearing this on your face makes you look more like Crazy Aunt Dot, with the crepe paper skin, neon pink lipstick and haphazardly smeared brow pencil. It will also make you smell like her--the faint scent of Gold Bond, cats, and musty Danielle Steele novels.

Stick with Colorstay ladies. Get your ass in gear Revlon.

It's a G-D Shame.

It's been a while since I've posted. I've been wrestling with an ethical dilemma and how I want to phrase my thoughts without sounding like a PETA hypnotized, granola munching, hemp-raising hippy. That being said, I eat a mostly vegan diet, recycle, turn the faucet off, buy organic, shun non-cotton underies, despise sulfates, and make all natural bath and body products as a hobby. Patchouli should be wafting behind me in a perfumed curtain of Aquarian goodness and sunflowers should sprout in my foot prints as sparrows braid my hair. Did I mention I have an herb garden?

I don't think animals are people, although my dog might disagree with me as he watches television next to me with eerily human intent. I do believe they have the right to a life filled with as much freedom and dignity as possible, even if they end up on the dinner table, or are incubating the possible cure for breast cancer. There are, in my opinion, justifiable reasons for animal testing. AIDS, Leukemia, and MS are but a few of these reasons. Thumper can take one for all the kids suffering at Saint Jude's. Don't get me wrong--those animals suffer and live an extremely shitastic existence, it sucks, and if there is any possible alternative for testing it should be taken. End of story.

I don't think that in the year 2010 Thumper should be getting mascara and lipstick shoved in his adorable little eye. My plumping lip gloss doesn't need to be forcefed to rats to make sure it's safe. Cosmetic companies shouldn't be putting crap in my mascara that they think might be that effing questionable. This isn't even a question for me.

To be honest, I didn't even think this was an issue anymore. It's 2010, wasn't there supposed to be a flying car by now? Haven't we moved beyond such asshatery? Well, these cosmetic giants haven't:

CoverGirl
Maybelline
L'Oreal
Johnson & Johnson
Sally Hansen

This only names a few. More information can be found here.

Neutragena doesn't test on animals, but its parent company, Johnson & Johnson does. So the drugstore brands we have left are:

Revlon
Almay
Physician's Formula

These are the brands you will be seeing featured from now on. Hopefully, this will expand. I will also be supporting Neutragena's decision to stop animal testing. As a consumer, my purchases can also be meaningful and just.

Let's face it. This sucks. No more Lashblast. No more Voluminous. Get with the program cosmetic giants! I want to buy your shit. I want to be sucked in by the young starlet in your ridiculous marketing campaigns. I desperately want to purchase your sulfate-free shampoos that infer Sawyer from LOST will take me again and again in a polar bear cage while Jack watches.

Stop poisoning bunnies so we can be BFF's again.

REVIEW: CoverGirl LashBlast Waterproof Mascara

We all know I am obsessed with mascara. It is my one beauty must have other than tintes moisturizer with an SPF. I tried the original LashBlast mascara and was not impressed. I was the opposite of impressed. It was gloppy, didn't stay put, and managed to get everywhere during application.

This waterproof version, howevr, lives up to all the hype I've been seeing about this stuff. The brush is still a bit outrageous and hard to control, but the product delivers. Go CoverGirl.

REVIEW: Sally Beauty Supply Hair One Cleansing Conditioner

I've noticed a trend lately, I only blog about stuff I'm in love with. This is no different. I bought the knock-off of Chaz Dean's Wen Hair Care System for a fraction of the cost at Sally's. I chose the Aloe and Cucumber Hair One formula for normal hair. IT IS AMAZING.

Here's what Sally has to say about their freaking great product:

Sulfate Free



All natural approach to hair care


No damaging detergents or harsh chemicals


Formulated with natural herbs and oils


Cleans with an astringent and antibacterial properties

Introducing Hair One ... a salon quality product that provides a new all natural approach to hair care and hair detox that leaves hair cleansed, conditioned and in optimum shape. This conditioner has no damaging detergents or harsh chemicals. It's made with an elixir of natural herbs and oils that clean with astringent and antibacterial properties through a luxurious, penetrating cream without the stripping of detergents. Hair is left with remarkable shine, moisture, manageability and polish. With continued use, Hair One Cleanser Conditioner will stimulate the scalp, promoting better blood circulation, allowing for healthier hair growth and prevention of hair loss.

Sally isn't telling a fib here kids. My hair has more body, bounce, and shine and I have eliminated the use of my conditioner, leave-in, shine serum, and mousse. I just blow dry and throw some styling paste in. It's miraculous. If this product were a man, he would look like Timothy Olyphant, put the toilet seat down, encourage you to have seconds (maybe even thirds) and taste like chocolate.

Amanda